Daughterklok
by Violet of the Moon
Summary: "Excuse me," came Pappa's angry voice. "But I ams Filippa's father. I have been her fathers for her whole lifes!"  "You are her stepfathers, yes," Lumi replied. "But you both knows very wells that Filippa's not a Westermark. She is a Skwigelf."
1. Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle

**Author's Note: Greetings, dear reader. Thanks for stumbling upon my most humble of Metalocalypse fanfictions. This is my first shot at a Dethklok fic, so I apologize for an OOC-ness or screwy timelines or anything else that may appear weird or not right. I just had to get this idea down! Anyway, enjoy!**

_**Daughterklok**_

_**Chapter One **_

_**(Inspiration: Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle)**_

Darkness fell over the snowy wasteland long before the crowd of fifty thousand gathered. Icy winds whipped across the frozen desert, attacking the masses with unbridled brutality, but they cared little. Upon a stage, guitar riffs and drum beats bounced off of glaciers and rang out across the Arctic Circle.

"Do you folks like coffee?" demanded Nathan Explosion, Dethklok's frontman.

The crowd cheered, and the music picked up its tempo. The Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle progressed smoothly and it eventually reached its peak. It was time for the song's guitar solo. Skwisgaar Skwigelf's face was hidden behind a curtain of blonde hair for the entire duration of the song, but as soon as his solo began, he jerked is head up for the audience to see. An astonished gasp swept through the snowy plains.

That was not Skwisgaar. It was a girl. Yes, a blonde, blue-eyed, five foot five teenaged girl had taken the place of Dethklok's lead musician!

The fans, already stunned to see the new face, were even more startled with her performance. The girl was able to play every bar, riff, and note as well as the world's fastest guitarist. Her hands flew up and down the neck of her Gibson Explorer, her fingers plucking the strings at lightning speed. She flipped her golden waves and gave her audience a hard smile as if to ask, "How's this for a solo, dildos?" The roar of the crowd was her answer. With gusto, she played the last few notes of her solo and let Nathan finish the song.

"Duncan Hills- Duncan Hills- Duncan Hills- Coffee!"

"Filippa!"

Mamma's harsh voice snapped the girl from her reverie and threw her heart against her rib cage. She tore her gaze away from the television screen and glanced over her shoulder.

Filippa's mother stood in the living room entrance with crossed arms. Her eyebrows pulled together in an irritated scowl, her nose wrinkled in disapproval, and the corners of her mouth pulled down into a frown.

"Would you turns that craps off?" she grumbled. "It ams givings me a terrible headaches."

Filippa frowned at Mamma, looking up at her imploringly.

"Do not gives me those puppy dogs eyes, Missy," Mamma snapped. Her narrowed blue eyes travelled from her daughter to the television set. "You ams sittings ways to close to the TVs, by the way. Turns it off and go help Siv in the stable."

With that, Mamma left in a huff. Filippa sat on the hardwood floor silently, allowing the her anger to subside in her mother's wake. Slowly, she turned back to the TV. The Duncan Hills Coffee commercial that Dethklok starred in was over, and the program that had been playing before the break returned. The show was of little interest to her now. Heaving a heavy sigh, the young girl hit the power button and forced herself to her feet.

_Not evens on my birthdays can she lets me listens to Dethklok in peace_, she thought sadly before pulling on her galoshes and heading out the door.

Winter wasted no time ravaging the country side in Uppsala, Sweden, hindering Filippa's journey from her tiny farmhouse to the barn. Clad in her rubber boots and thin wind breaker, she trekked through the ever growing blanket of snow on the ground, and ducked her head against the wind lashing at her face.

Thankfully, the barn was warm and smelled of sweet hay and horses. Shaking the snow off her shoulders, Filippa shut the door and spotted her little sister in the alleyway. Siv was already hard at work sweeping the place. Filippa grabbed a broom and went to join her.

"Theres you ares," Siv said, not looking up from her work. "What tooks you so long?"

"Mamma was yellings at me," Filippa replied angrily. "What else is news?" She pitched the broom back and forth in harsh movements.

"What happends this times?" Siv pressed, as calm and mature as a fourteen year old could possibly get.

Filippa continued to sweep furiously. "Whats do you thinks? The Duncan Hills Coffees Jingle came on the TVs and Mamma gaves me shits because it was too louds for her likings. And I was sittings too close to the televisions."

Siv laughed. "She does ams nots likes Dethklok period, Filippa."

The older of the two sister gave a final harsh sweep before planting the broom on the cement alley and standing with her feet firmly planted. "I knows! That ams what pisses me offs!"

Her bangs fell in front of her face, and she could not help but to imagine herself upon a stage, her broom replaced by a guitar, and her hair a mess from the constant head banging that came with being a rock star.

"It ams nots Mamma's cup of teas, I guess," Siv muttered, unfazed by her sister s obvious anger.

"She cannot evens tolerate one stupid commercials on my sixteenth birthdays?"

"I don t knows, Fil," the fourteen year old muttered. "Mamma never liked Dethkloks."

Filippa heaved a sigh and began to sweep, a little slower this time. The horses nickered softly in their box stalls, and she mumbled, "One days, I ams going to be a greats guitar player, just likes Skwisgaar Skwigelf."

Siv laughed and reached into a nearby stall to pat a horse's nose. "And Sleipnir here wills be your Thunders horse?"

Filippa smiled and nodded. "I wills haves as many guitars as I will Thunders horses."

"Filippa, you don t even owns a guitar, let alones know hows to plays one," Siv reasoned. "What makes you thinks you will be as goods as Skwisgaar Skwigelf?"

The birthday girl fell silent and considered it for a moment. Ever since she began listening to Dethklok, she had dreams of shredding on her very own Gibson just like her idol. However, she barely knew how to play Mary Had a Little Lamb. How could she ever think of gaining the famous Swede's skill?

"I ams not sures... But I wills somehow one days... One days..."

The horses whickered encouragingly, and she suddenly felt a lot better.


	2. Birthday Dethday

**Author's Note: I completely forgot to mention in the first chapter that I don't own Metalocalypse. Please don't sue... Anyway, enjoy!**

_**Chapter Two**_

_**(Inspiration: Birthday Dethday)**_

Filippa sat at the kitchen table, staring into the flames of her birthday candles. The cake before her exclaimed, _"Glad sextonde fodelsedag, Filippa!" _in red icing. Mamma, Pappa, Siv, and her grandparents sang a lofty Swedish version of 'Happy Birthday' that she was positive the whole county could hear. The new sixteen year old laughed and clapped, her face shimmering in the candlelight.

After the singing stopped and the kitchen lights had been flipped back on, Mamma was in the middle of cutting pieces of cake when a hard knock sounded from the door. She raised her blonde head from over the cake and glanced out the window at the snowy, opaque night.

"Who could be heres at this times of nights?" she wondered aloud.

Filippa shrugged, hopped off her chair, and hurried to open the door. She was under the strange illusion that a certain celebrity had come to pay her a birthday visit. After all, who _would _be out in the countryside in a blizzard this late?

Indeed, there _was _a celebrity on the other side of the threshold! The late night caller was a tall, fair, attractive lady bundled in a fur coat, handling a heavy muff. Filippa's eyes lit up.

"Aunt Lumi!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around her.

Filippa's aunt chuckled and withdrew a gloved hand to hug her back. "Happy birthdays, my dear," she sang.

Mamma, Pappa, Siv, and her grandparents rushed into the entrance hall. Lumi stepped into the house and Mamma's mouth dropped when she laid eyes on her sister.

"Lumi! Dear lords, I thought you were in Finlands, weren't yous?"

"I was, yes," the younger of the siblings affirmed, nodding. "I figured I would comes here to Uppsala to visits my little _kattunge _on the days she becomes a woman."

Filippa beamed. It had been years since she heard Lumi call her 'kitten', a favourite nickname her aunt called her since infancy. Filippa glanced at Mamma and was startled to see that her pretty face had paled, and she had pressed her lips into a thin line. Pappa and her grandparents simply looked confused.

"It ams... uh... nice to sees you agains, Lumi," Pappa said awkwardly, scratching his dark beard.

Aunt Lumi smiled courteously at her neice's father. "And you as well, Sven," she replied. She began to unbutton her coat. Siv stepped forward and held up her hands, smiling at her aunt. Lumi patted the fourteen year old's cheek, then kissed it.

"Hello, Siv," she said. "My, whats a pretty, polite girl you ams growings up to be. Thanks you, darling." And she handed her jacket to her.

After settling down in the tiny living room, Mamma bustled in the kitchen, fixing cups of tea, while Filippa and Siv sat next to their favourite aunt. She listened to her tell stories of her time in Finland where she had been shooting a movie.

"It's a low budget films, yes," she said, "but I tells you, it ams a very good story. It wills be a hit at next year's film festivals in Helsinki."

Filippa always took pride in knowing that her mother's sister was an actress, even if she was a B-list one. Lumi was wonderful before a camera, and the birthday girl had watched her movies over and over again. It was all she could do to keep from missing her aunt in between the visits she paid them in Sweden every year or so. What a treat to have her show up on her birthday!

"Oh, here, lets me helps you with that, Sonja," Lumi offered, watching Mamma balance a tray in her hands as she entered the parlour. She waved her guest's offer to the wind, and Filippa watched the cups, teapot, sugar, and milk totter.

"Nonsenses, Lumi, you sit and rest. Your journeys must am haves been tiring," Mamma said, setting the tray down on the coffee table. The cups ceased to wobble, and Filippa breathed a sigh of relief.

The family sat in the cramped living room, sipping their drinks, and listening to Lumi talk until she turned her attention to Filippa. She set her cup and saucer down on the nearby coffee table and faced her niece.

"Now, Filippa," she began. "It is my understanding that you ams turning sixteen years olds, correct?"

"Corrects," the girl said, nodding.

Lumi smiled. "It ams a milestones in a girl's life. It should be remembered, yes? You wants to remember this birthday?"

Unsure of where she was going with these questions, Filippa nodded again.

The smile on her aunt's lovely face grew wider. "You ams a Dethklok fans, I understand?"

Filippa's mouth dropped. Could it be...?

Lumi reached into her jeans back pocket and produced a small white envelope. Handing it to her stunned niece, she said, "What would you says if I tooks you to sees them, hm? How would that sound in your ears?"

Filippa's joy erupted from her being like an overexcited volcano. She jumped up from her seat and tackled her aunt with hugs and kisses, squealing like a newborn piglet.

"I ams goings to see Dethklok! Reallys! Oh, thanks you, thanks you, thanks you, Auntie! Oh, Auntie, I loves you so much! I am really goings to see them!"

Lumi chuckled calmly and held her niece at arm's length by her shoulders. "You will not just sees them, child." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "You will _meets _them!"

Two screams filled the living room. One was Filippa's. She jumped about, clapped her hands, and held up her forefingers and pinkys to the utmost shock of her grandparents. The other yell was Mamma's. She jumped up, clenched her hands into fists, and barred her teeth. Mamma's was the one that silenced the room, and Mamma's was the one that Filippa grew very afraid of.


	3. Bloodlines

_**Chapter Three**_

_**(Inspired by: Bloodlines)**_

Mordhaus was unusually quiet that evening. There was hardly any work to be done. Everything that had to be recorded for the next year had been recorded. All the work and preparation for this week's upcoming concert had been done. There was nothing left to do but relax.

While Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface sat in the hot tub, and Toki surfed the internet, Skwisgaar sat on a couch, absentmindedly fingering the strings of his guitar as he daydreamed. Partying was always fun, but quiet nights at home were bearable once in a while. The galas, and the drinking, and the women came after they pulled off a successful concert.

Suddenly, Dethklok's guitarist was seized by a violent shudder that shook him to the very core of his being. He exhaled loudly and shakily, overcome by a wave of inexplicable anxiety and dread. Toki turned from the screen to glance at him.

"Skwisgaar, you okay's?"

"Uh... Yeah, I thinks so..." Skwisgaar replied once the tremor subsided. After a pause, he muttered, "I should probablys watch the SKYY 90 when I haves an empty stomachs..."

* * *

Filippa lay in her bed with her pillow over her ears. Mamma and Aunt Lumi had been fighting for the past two hours, and she could not fall asleep. She rolled over onto her side and checked the digital clock on her bedside table. It was midnight. Filippa frowned. She knew her mother disliked Dethklok, but this was simply ridiculous! How could someone put so much effort into hating a band because they weren't her style? Sighing, the girl slipped out of bed, crept out of her room, and slunk down the hallway. She crouched at the top of the stairs, listening Mamma and Lumi yell back and forth at each other.

"I won't lets her go! I refuse!"

"Sonja, be realistic here!"

"I saids _no_, Lumi!"

"What were you to tells the poor girl, huh? Ams were yous plannings to keep her in the darks forevers?"

Filippa furrowed her brow. Keep her in the dark about what?

"This ams none of your businesses, Lumi! What happened between us-"

"A child happened betweens you two, Sonja, how cans you deny her the rights to see her father?"

The girl kneeling at the top of the stairs felt her blood run cold, though she had no idea what her mother and her aunt were talking about.

"Excuse me," came Pappa's angry voice. "But _I _ams Filippa's father. I have been her fathers for her whole lifes!"

"You am her stepfathers, yes," Lumi replied. "But you both knows very wells that Filippa's not a Westermark. She is a Skwigelf."

Mamma moaned loudly, and Filippa ceased to breathe. She was certain she had heard incorrectly. Lumi was tired from her trip, and she was speaking nonsense. Sven Westermark was her father. How could her aunt think otherwise?

"Don't you say that names, Lumi, nots in this house..."

"Why do you hides from the truths, and why do you hides it from your daughter?" Lumi demanded. "The girl ams sixteens now, she has a rights to know!

"A rights to know? A rights to know that her real dads ams an alcohol drinkings, drugs takings, stupid, no goods metal head that fucks anythings that moves!" Pappa bursted. A heavy bang resounded through the house, but Filippa was too shocked to be frightened by it.

"She does, Sven, yes," Lumi said. "Don't you see? Filippa was born of a legend! And she loves Dethkloks so much, wouldn't you wants to knows if your fathers were a famous guitarist too?"

The three adults downstairs continued to squabble with each other. Filippa barely heard them anymore. She slowly rose from the floor and made her way back to her bedroom in a trance. She slipped into bed and lay there, staring at the dark ceiling. The frigid snow storm raged outside, but the battle downstairs heated the whole house. Filippa reflected silently on all the times she air guitared to Dethklok's songs, her fantasies of playing on stage with them, and the opinions she formed on their lead guitarist's attractiveness. How wrong that all seemed now. How sick it nearly made her. Skwisgaar Skwigelf. That name had a completely new meaning to her now.

_I am his daughters._

Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

Filippa Skwigelf.

She was too stunned to scream.

**Thanks for reading, everyone! Chapter Four coming up...**


	4. Awaken

**Hello, dear readers! First, I'd like to apologize for the slow update. My computer decided NOT to save my work, so I had to retype nearly everything in this chapter, and then academia ate up my life. Secondly, I'd like to thank lindzilla and Rei-hime for their encouraging and constructive reviews. They were both greatly appreciated! Anyway, enough blabbing, on with the story!**

**_Chapter Four_**

**_(Inspired by Awaken)_**

It had been a year since Dethklok held a concert close to home. Most musicians liked performing in a familiar place. With Mordhaus half an hour away from the park in which their stage was set up, the members of Dethklok were feeling mellow about performing.

All except one.

Three hours before they were scheduled to perform, Skwisgaar locked himself in his dressing room and tentatively made sure he was left completely alone. After a moment of absolute silence, he paced a small circle around the room and looked up at the ceiling.

"Hey, Odins," he murmured. "I knows I didnt's talk to you in a longs while, but I needs a favour..." He hesitated, unsure if he was going to sound stupid before Odin. "... Please, watch overs me tonights. I amn't ables to shakes this feelings that something bads am goings to happen. It started yesterdays and hasn't stoppeds."

He fell silent when he heard a pair of footsteps walk by his door, and only resumed when he heard them fade. He didn't want to be caught praying. It wasn't metal to be religious or spiritual, even when the god you were talking to was long forgotten in today's society.

"Please, Odin," he whispered, watching the ceiling imploringly. "Froms one god to anothers, help me outs a little."

A sharp knock at the door startled him. Thankfully it wasn't one of his band mates, but one of the klokateers on the other side of the door.

"I was sent to bring you to makeup, my lord," he said.

Skwisgaar frowned. "I ams busy rights now, don't you knows?" His face was burning. "I will comes in a few minutes."

With a nod and a quick "Yes, sire", the klokateer disappeared. Skwisgaar shut the door and locked it, pressing a cold hand to his searing cheeks. That was a close call. He looked back up at the ceiling.

"Sorry abouts that, Odin. Listen, I gots to go now, but I ams countings on you, okay? Thanks."

Skwisgaar left to go find the makeup room, hoping his prayers would be answered and that the last lingering string of his anxiety would soon fade to nothing.

* * *

Filippa was quiet in the airport bound car. She was quiet on the plane. She was quiet in the hotel room. The only place Filippa was not quiet on the way towards the concert.

"I can nots do this!"

"Oh, and nows you decides to say somethings?" Lumi half teased, glaring at a bad American driver that had just cut her off. "You were catatonics for the wholes trip here, and now you ams Miss Chatterboxes?"

Filippa didn't know how to respond. She could barely even speak without feeling like she was going to throw up. She glanced out her window. Watching the freeway speeding by made her dizzy. "I can't, Aunties. I can'ts. It ams too much to take in that Skwisgaar Skwigelf ams my... my..."

"Father," Lumi finished for her.

"Yes, that..." Filippa tore her gaze away from the window and stared at the dashboard, as if in a trance. "The story you told me abouts Mamma and Skwisgaar on the planes... It seems that it ams... Well, just that. It seems like it ams only a stories. Like a fairytales."

Lumi was quiet, choosing her words carefully before she repiled to her niece. "It ams a lot to take in, yes. But that's the truths. Every little details I tolds you on the ways here ams true."

"I can't believes that really happeneds."

"But it did, Filippas. I was there for it alls."

Filippa blinked, staring at the grey of the road and sky. Twilight had fallen, but it wasn't the nice sort of twilight she witnessed in the Swedish country side. It was dismal, ominous, and threatened rain at anytime. She felt a painful lump rise in her throat.

"Aunit, do you realize that I haves more brothers and sisters than just Siv? I have possbilies hundreds of halfs sibilings." She took care not to let her voice crack of quiver. She did not want to cry in front of her aunt.

"Yes," Lumi said, her brow furrowing with uneasiness.

"I ams not Skwisgaar Skwigelf's only childs. He has so much mores, and he refuses to sees any of thems. Why should I be's any differents? He doesn't even knows I exist. And after what happeneds between him and Mamma..." She turned her head away from Lumi and stared out the window. She would not let her aunt see the tears escaping her eyes and racing down her cheeks.

Lumi remained silent as they pulled into the crowded parking lot of the concert site. She parked the car, but did not unlock the door. Instead, she touched Filippa's shoulders and made her face her.

"Yes, but you ams different, Filippa, do you not understands? You are _special, _my girl, and I means that. Your mamma was very special to your fathers in more ways than ones, that you knows. You must trust in me and him that's you are specials, okay?"

Lumi's frank speech cheered Filippa up a little bit, but there were still questions on her mind. "But hows did Mamma and Pappas ever allows me to come heres?"

Her aunt unlocked the car doors with a push of a button. "Well, Sven took some convincing, but he ams goods to you and let you go's. Your Mamma was less resilients, but I know that deep down insides of her, she let you go because it ams right. You're her's and Skwisgaar's daughters. A fact ams a facts."

The two Scandanvians slipped out of the car and headed for the massive park entrance. "And hows do you expects to get the access to see Skwisgaars, Aunt Lumi?"

The actress let out a little laugh that sounded like the tinkling of silver bells. "I ams a movie stars, Fil, we haves connections. Besides, you ams not held down by paternity waivers like your brothers and sisters."

* * *

It was as if she were in a dream. Filippa never dared to think she would actually be standing in a park, surrounded by masses upon masses of metal heads, watching her favourite band play live before her. The stage was amazing: A raised platform that stood over an enormous, shark infested pool. The lights were colourful and dizzying. The speakers that flanked the stage and the pool carried Nathan Explosion's gravely voice across the park. Filippa barely heard the lyrics to 'Awaken'. She was too busy looking at who had appeared on the towering screen beyond the stage.

The blonde Swedish guitarist couldn't be seen through the mane of hair covering his face as he headbanged. Filippa always wondered how he could throw his head about and remember to play the guitar as well. She analyzed ever muscle twitch, every jerk of the head, and tried in vain to follow his fingers up and down the neck of his Gibson. Her father. She felt a wave of anxious nausea rise in her throat.

The mosh pit a few rows of people down from Filippa and Lumi was began to grow rowdier. A middle aged drunk shoved a young man into one of the speakers with as much force as he could muster. The poor fellow flew into the amplifier and crack his skull. The monstrous amp wobbled slowly like a gigantic domino before falling onto its side, missing Dethklok by inches. Instead, it landed in the pool, spraying water and sharks into the crowd. Salt water stung the onlookers' eyes. Sharks crushed and bit various limbs off of the spectators. The water and the amp proved to be highly electric and shocked many of the Dethklok fans to death. Lumi grabbed her terrified niece's arm.

"Let's go!" she screamed.

Filippa followed her aunt passed the screaming, dying fans, dodging flailing sharks and bright blue sparks issuing from various wires. Aunt Lumi led her to the temporary building serving as backstage. She surged towards the front door, but was blocked by a wall of klokateers.

"No fans beyond this point, ma'am," one guard said calmly over the din in the park.

"You _haves _to lets us in, we needs to see Skwisgaar Skwigelf!" Lumi cried.

"Were you picked up by the Skank Patrol, ma'am?"

Lumi's face flushed a furious red. "Do you knows who I am! Lumi Dekker, dammit, not a _skanks!_ Now let us in's!"

The klokateers threw each other uncertain looks, muttering, "Lumi who?" Filippa cringed. Her aunt was an actress, but not a well known one, especially not to Americans. She highly doubted her mother's sister could get away with seeing Skwisgaar by flashing about her 'super star card'. Filippa was certain they were doomed, but Lumi literally had another trick up her sleeve.

She approached the klokateer nearest to the door and pulled a folded yellow paper from her sweater sleeve. She unfolded it and shoved the page in the guard's face.

"You see this, yes? Her names-" she gestured to her niece "-ams _Fillipa Skwigelf_. You see the dates at the bottoms? That amn't protecting your little guitarist from seeings his child, you gets it? Now let us in. Believes me, Skwisgaar will recognize me and his littles girl."

The klokateer took Filippa's birth certificate and read it carefully. A few tense moments later, he sighed, handed the paper back to Lumi, and turned to open the door. Lumi grasped Filippa's hand and pulled her inside. As they followed the klokateer backstage, the sixteen year old had the wildest sensation that she was falling.

* * *

Skwisgaar laughed merrily in the lounge with his band mates and the groupies. Sandwiched between two beautiful women who were rolling wet paint rollers over his bare chest, he took a swig of beer and pulled them closer. The concert was a success. That awful feeling that had been bothering him earlier was completely gone now. His prayers had been answered. Hail Odin, he could finally relax!

"Good Lords, man, what has becomes of the shy music students I knew backs in Uppsala?" came an alarmed voice from the door. Skwisgaar lowered his bottle and turned.

Standing in the doorway was a fair lady who had aged wonderfully since he last saw her. Her presence startled him, and he could barely push words out from his slacked jaw. "Annika...? Annika Dekker?"

The woman shook her head impatiently. "No. It ams Lumi Dekker now, Skwisgaar. Haven't you's seen any of my latest movies? I changed my names in the summer of '93."

An uncomfortable silence crashed around them. Nathan broke it by asking his guitarist, "Who's she?" in a nonchalant manner.

"Yeah," the groupies beside him said, pressing themselves protectively against him. "Who's _she_?"

Skwisgaar didn't answer. Instead, he addressed the actress before him. "Why are you here?"

"Why?" Lumi repeated. She moved away from the door and yanked someone into the room. A teenage girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, a button nose, and a slim face stumbled into the lounge. She glanced around wildly like a frightened mare, but froze when her eyes fell on Skwisgaar.

"Why?" Lumi said again. "Yours and Sonja's brood ams the reasons why I'm here!"

Skwisgaar let the beer bottle slip from his hands, and the sound of shattering glass filled the room.


	5. Better Metal Snake

_**Hi, everyone! I'm sorry for the slow update. I was on vacation for Christmas, but I'm back now, and with a new chapter. Enjoy!**_

_**Chapter Five**_

_**(Inspiration: Better Metal Snake)**_

"Gentlemen," Senator Stampingston began, his voice echoing about the dark Tribunal chamber, "we have a crisis on our hands. It appears that Dethklok guitarist, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, has encountered a child of his."

General Crozier, sitting at the table across from Stampingston, cocked a perplexed eyebrow. "Is that news?" he asked. "We know that Skwigelf has fathered hundreds of children..."

"This girl is not just any daughter," the senator informed him. A picture of a blonde sixteen year old girl flashed upon the screen before the Tribunal. "This young lady, Filippa Lieke Westermark, is the eldest of all the Skwigelf children."

"You mean to tell us that she was his first child?"

Stampingston nodded solemnly. "Exactly. May I introduce father-daughter relationship specialist, Dr. Anathema Bohdome."

The senator gestured to a portly, well suited woman standing off to the side, clutching a briefcase in her fat hands. She waddled into the centre of the room and tucked a stray hair back into her tight bun.

"The relationship between a father and his daughter is a delicate one," she started. "The slightest thing could set it off balance and rolling on its way to chaos. In Skwisgaar Skwigelf's case, the relationship is even more strained. Skwigelf's the father of many children, yet he loathes fatherhood and refuses to see, communicate, or even acknowledge the children's existence.

"The problem arises when we examine the background of Filippa Westermark's parents. Sixteen years ago, Skwigelf met the chid's mother, Sonja Dekker, a Dutch immigrant to Sweden. When they were both mere secondary school seniors, Dekker became the woman to whom Skwigelf relinquished his virginity to, and vice versa."

"So, how does this affect the relationship between Filippa and her biological father?" Crozier demanded, leaning forward in his seat.

"We must keep in mind that up until now, Skwigelf never knew that his high school sweetheart carried his first child," Vater Orlaag put in. "Sources tell us that one week after she discovered her pregnancy, Dekker's parents moved her into hiding in Stockholm out of shame, and didn't breathe a word to Skwigelf about it. Heartbroken, the guitar god to-be endured the disappearance of the girl he gave everything to, and he never knew what happened to her."

"That being said," Dr. Bohdome continued, "Filippa is not protected by the paternity waivers instilled when Skwigelf joined Dethklok. She has full rights to visit her father without incident. Seeing his eldest daughter for the first time in sixteen years will change Skwigelf. A once dead-beat father will begin to open his arms not only to Filippa, but the next child he fathered, then the next, then the next... Pretty soon, he'll embrace all of his illegitimate children. They will vie for their fathers affections, conflict will arise between the sons and daughters, and by extension, each of their mothers will get involved. Destruction will ensue, blood will be spilled, and the world will be plunged into utter chaos."

* * *

Filippa's dream come true was turning into a nightmare. Although she was sitting in Mordhaus' living room, surrounded by the band she worshipped since her tweeny-bopper years, the situation at hand could not be more humiliating. From her place on the red leather sofa, she watched her tired-looking aunt argue with Dethklok's manager, Charles Offdensen. Skwisgaar Skwigelf stood between them, staring at her as if she had just kicked him in the teeth. His gaze made her uncomfortable, but she found she couldn't look away.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you _need _to sign a paternity waiver. It's protocol," Offdensen was saying, holding up a sheet of paper in front of Lumi.

Filippa's aunt snarled, glaring at him as if she intended to kill him. "Damn your waivers! I amn't here for a joy-rides with the freaking bands. I'm here to bring Skwisgaars his daughters, and he amn't able to covers his ass with that stupids sheets of paper now."

Offdensen blinked at the livid woman. He was surprised that she seemed more passionate about this mess than the teenager, who was sitting propped up on the couch like a sack of potatoes. "I'm aware of that. But whether you're here on official business or not, you must sign this or else you're susceptible for legal trouble."

While Mordhaus rang with the sounds of Lumi and Offdensen arguing, Filippa forced herself to tear her eyes away from her staring father. Her stomach twisted as her gaze fell upon the two men sitting beside her, Nathan Explosion and William Murderface. They watched the battle in the middle of the room with blank, slightly irritated expressions. She turned her head and spied Pickles the Drummer and Toki Wartooth on the opposite sofa playing spectators as well. Filippa shuddered and felt the sudden urge to crawl into a small, dark hole and die. She was living out her wildest fantasy, and her aunt was causing a scene that she could seriously do without.

Leaning forward on her knees, Filippa cradled her head in her hands and gazed to the far side of the room. She noticed there were two women standing in the doorway at the end of the room. Filippa recognized them as the two groupies she had seen throwing themselves over her father when Lumi dragged her into the backstage lounge. Unlike the band, they weren't staring at the fight, but at her. The looks the blonde and the brunette shot her were so contemptuous that she decided to return to staring at her estranged father.

Skwisgaar barely heard his manager and the B-list actress arguing, but he heard himself telling them quietly to stop fighting. When the din died down, he took a few steps towards the blonde girl on the settee. He watched her eyes grow wide and frightened as he approached her. Kneeling down on the ground, he leaned forward, aware of everyone's eyes on him, and inspected the girl's face.

There was no doubt that she was Sonja's child. She had the same eye shape and colour. Her forehead was wide, and her button nose sat nicely in the middle of her face, just like his high school sweetheart. But her mouth was full, her hair was long and wavy, and her jaw was slightly squared. These features were akin to Skwisgaar's. He glanced back at Annika Dekker- now Lumi Dekker- and noticed a yellow, worn sheet of paper sticking out of her back pocket. Filippa's birth certificate. He knew he didn't have to read it to confirm that she was indeed his eldest daughter. Turning back, he reached out and cupped Filippa's cheeks with both hands. Her mouth fell open in disbelief and her eyes bugged out of their sockets as he moved her head back, forth, up, and down, examining every inch of her face.

"Sixteen years..." he murmured. "Your mothers have somes explin-icating to do."


End file.
